I haven't been around in a while. In a few weeks to be exact. I kind of fell off the radar I guess. But let me tell you why and what I've been struggling with and thinking about.
When I first started blogging I did it for me. It was enjoyable. An outlet for me to write, talk about my life and have something that was mine. And then I got trapped in being a 'blogger.' I got caught up in the game. The more I did it, the more I wanted: more followers, bigger sponsors, a fantastic layout. I started to worry: was I posting enough, did people like what I was writing, were people reading. I actually started tracking my statistics and then sat worrying about them. I found myself comparing myself to all the other bloggers out there.
So, in a nutshell, it stopped being fun. It started to feel like a job – and I already have one of those. It was a popularity contest that I didn't feel comfortable being a part of. I felt pressure to blog, even when I didn't have time or energy to do so. I was worn out with social media – I'm sick to death of Twitter and Facebook and all the other sites that keep popping up that a blogger feels compelled to join and participate in.
So, I just turned off my computer for a while and walked away. And right now I'm on the fence about how I feel about returning on a regular basis. I know in my heart I don't want to get caught back up in the world of sponsors and statistics and posting every detail of my life on my Twitter or Instagram account. I am 9 days away from getting married and starting a whole new chapter in my life. And believe me, I'm so excited about this chapter. And I want to share it. I have some new goals and ideas and things I want to accomplish. And I would love to have all my friends along for the ride.
I just have to find what works for me. And I'm still doing some soul searching about that. It all comes down to balance. And in doing this for me and not for anyone else. And really, not allowing myself to get caught up in keeping up with what everyone else out there is doing.
I'm my own worst critic. I will be hard on myself before anyone else. I don't want to do anything unless I can do it well. So, that's disheartened me some in having this blog. Because I feel like if I can't give it 115% and be as successful as the next person, I'm failing in some way.
So, that's the fork in the road I'm at. And I felt like everyone deserved an explanation. And I would love any feedback, advice and suggestions you can throw at me as I decide how to proceed here in this little part of the world.