We are 37 days and counting till I walk down the aisle to marry my best friend. As we approach our big day, the piece of advice I've gotten the most from couples who have been together the longest and withstood the tests of life is this:
"Marriage takes work."
And I know this and believe this and have been giving it a lot of thought. Our relationship up to this point has taken work. We knew from the beginning that it wouldn't be easy. Mainly, we thought, because our circumstances are so different than many people. But, circumstances aside, any relationship is going to take work. There are days that things come easy and there are days when things are truly tough.
Right now, our biggest issue is just finding the time to be a couple and connect. It's very easy to get caught up in the day to day routine and put our focus on the kids and everything else going on. We sometimes tend to forget that we have to make time for 'us.' We have to get away, just the two of us. We have to find the moments to sit and talk and catch up. We have to laugh and relax. We have to do the small things for one another.
There are days that coming home feels like a job in itself. It's easy to take one another for granted or to take out our frustration on each other. But in order to be successful as a partner, we have to continuously work to be the best person we can be for each other. We have to communicate. Be each others support and foundation. Take the time for the long hug when we walk through the door. Get dressed up and go out on dates. Ask how the day went and then truly listen.
We like to joke and say that things will be perfect in 7 years (that's when our youngest one will be leaving high school). But the truth is, without the hard work and commitment, it doesn't matter how many kids we have in the house, it will still be hard at times.
So as I count down the days until I say 'I do' I really am reflecting on what I need to be doing to be the best wife I can be to ensure that I make our marriage a successful one. I'm willing to put in the work. And I know I still have a lot of work to do on myself. And I can honestly say, at the end of the day, no matter how much work it is, every second is worth it to be the wife to the most amazing man I know.